Our everyday experiences can be some of our most impactful teachers in life. In this 2-part article, I share about small, typical, yet powerful, moments that capture what my Connected Hearts philosophy looks in real life. Read Part 1 here first.
To review, Connected Hearts has three layers; I like to think of Connected Hearts as a ripple effect, starting from the Self and rippling outward. First, each individual connects to oneSelf. With this inner locus of control and strong sense of self-love, we can connect with others– the second ripple. We find healthy, authentic, and support ways to relate to others. The third ripple is community; here each individual shows up and participates in the world, taking agency and understanding their power to contribute.
Today, I share the second everyday experience that illustrates the way that a Connect Hearts lens can support us in living a more peaceful and easeful life.
Agreements Surrounding Time
Yesterday, during the daily ritual of greeting one another, my partner and I chatted about what we each had in mind for the evening. We had already decided to watch an episode of our current show, but we chatted details for a bit.
He explained that he wanted to use the last few minutes of sunlight to continue a spray painting project, and I explained that I was deep into website research. We decided that we’d make our easy, go-to GF pizza on rice tortillas for dinner. Then, he said, “What time should we reconvene?”
After we agreed on 7:15, I wrote my partner’s question down in my bullet journal. It felt like a perfect acknowledgment of our different needs and agendas, while also honoring and our quality time together. It allows space for us to collaborate, too. THIS is Connected Hearts in real life!
I invite you, as parents, supporters, partners, spouses, and friends, to make agreements with your loved ones about the ways time will be spent individually AND together.
You might talk with your tween using questions such as, “What kind of activities do you like having alone time for? How long do you need after school to decompress?” Pair these questions about individual needs with questions about family time: ““How long would you like to commit to catching up each evening? How would you like to spend family time together?”
Again, it can be helpful to share your perspective and values about developing routines for connecting, as well as space for individual or alone time. As the parent, you are guiding the conversation, but you are inviting your child to cocreate routines that they can be invested and engaged in.
Know that as the parent, sometimes you may have to be firm in expectations, voicing that family time is necessary and will be priority. This is okay and may be a part of the process in your family. You are not alone!
Digging Deeper into the Connected Hearts Philosophy
If you’re looking for accountability to integrate these everyday practices and other growth-based tools into your life and your family, let’s chat! As a Child-Centered Coach for parents and teens, I work with clients to build daily routines and rituals that inspire empowered, intentional living, and I’d love to support you on your journey.